#251 Five (5) Tips For Making Tough Decisions
Nov 15, 2021
When I refer to "difficult decisions", I'm referring to those decisions where there is substantial competition between two or more equally attractive options. A few examples of the types of decisions I am referring to include:
- Moving your family across the country after 25 years of building a life in a community you grew up in because your business is failing and job options are limited. This includes taking children out of school and uprooting them - making a big sacrifice for a better life when there are no real guarantees.
- Leaving a marriage where everyone's needs are being met but you are feeling really stifled. This is especially difficult for women who are used to sacrificing for everyone. And the "devil you know" philosophy is definitely at play.
- Closing down a business that you have invested in for decades because it is obvious that the children aren't interested in taking it over and there is no one else who is interested in buying it.
- Is it time to move out of the home where you raised your family because there is a lot of work to keep it going? Are your leaning on others to remain in the home and these people are trying to encourage you to move? This is often the case with seniors.
I am not referring to deciding between a chain link fence or a pressure treated fence - although I do acknowledge that all decisions are important - the reality is that some are elevated to the "difficult" status not only because of investment and emotional attachment but also because of what others will think. Optics do matter.
Points to Ponder
1. Brain dump all of the things that are coming to mind for you regarding the decision. You can write it out or talk it out but the main objective is to get it all out. No matter how trivial the thought is, get it down on paper. It doesn't need to make sense to others, this is your decision and everything matters. This will help you get to the bottom of what is really going on here.
2. Ask yourself "If I say yes to option A, what am I saying no to. Make a yes column and a no column. Next go to option B and ask yourself the same questions. It often makes the right decision a little more obvious.
3. If you decide not to make a decision right now, are you doing so because it is strategic to wait or are you kicking the can down the road? Is your fear of ripping the band-aid off, keeping you from making the decision?
4. Making a decision from a position of strength in terms of the resources that you have at hand is much more empowering than making the decision when your back is to the wall. Think of the example of seniors downsizing and moving into an apartment - much easier to do it when you're making the decision on your own as opposed to being forced out of your home in the middle of a health crisis.
5. Are you making the best decision for all or are you only looking at the outcome from one persons' perspective. For example, are you holding onto a house after a marital breakdown because you're either keeping up with the Jones' or you don't want to upset the children?
Tough decisions are hard for a reason - there is never a benefit without a burden. I like to assemble my own team of personal advisors - people I trust to give me an objective piece of advice. After collecting all of the info and doing the analysis above, you will be well equipped to make the decision sooner rather than later.
If you need help with a decision, reach out.
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